[fires thousands of rifles into the air] merry christmas and/or birthday and also free dinner at chili’s
How to figure out if you’re trapped inside a Jorge Luis Borges story.
You may be a man, but then again you may be a mathematical thought experiment; it’s difficult to tell.
wait they all are amazing
- You are in a library that may not exist. You are having a terrible time.
- It is unclear whether you have been writing the story, or the story has been writing you.
- You visit the south of Argentina, where something terrible happens to you.
- You are standing inside a sphere. Its center is everywhere and its circumference is nowhere. You are terrified.
- Everyone around you is being murdered in a perfect Kabbalistic pattern.
- A Scottish man sells you a book that ruins your life.
- A red-haired woman tells you that you have always been a dead man.
- You are lost in the desert. Your map is the desert itself.
- You may have committed a murder. You’re not sure.
- Everywhere you look, you see a sinister equilateral triangle.
- A train conductor is rude to you, who was once a king in Babylon.
- You are dreaming. You have never existed. You are being born. You are a thinly veiled version of Borges himself, and you have been dying for a thousand years.
- A gaucho with a knife is laughing at you. There is blood on your saddle, but you have been in a hospital for the last four days. There is no saddle. Now it is you who is holding the knife, and no one is laughing.
- You are standing in the middle of an empty city that is also the corpse of a tiger. There is one company in the entire world, and it does not exist, but it is watching you.
- You may be a man, but then again you may be a mathematical thought experiment; it’s difficult to tell.
- You die in a labyrinth.
having a baby just to lose it at a state fair